日韩精品久久一区二区三区_亚洲色图p_亚洲综合在线最大成人_国产中出在线观看_日韩免费_亚洲综合在线一区

US EUROPE AFRICA ASIA 中文
China / Cover Story

Wives, mistresses fight back

By Yu Ran (China Daily) Updated: 2011-10-21 08:30

Wives, mistresses fight back

[Li Feng/China Daily]

Liu Zhixian relives her sadness and heartbreak every time she learns that another man has cheated on his wife.

"I ended my 16-year marriage three years ago because I was tired of arguing with my husband about his affair," she said. "Now I want to help more women who have similar experiences so they can start a new life."

Liu is the key organizer of a group that offers solace and advice in Xiamen, Fujian province. It provides an online platform for women with unfaithful husbands and it aims to help them save their families or, at least, to talk about their experiences.

 

Wives, mistresses fight back

"I've seen so many women choose to get divorced because their husbands had lovers," said Liu, 40. "We should unite and gain strength from the experience we have been through and help each other with family affairs and emotional problems," Liu said.

They aren't the only women with broken hearts and Internet connections. Mistresses, too, are seeking help and solace through their online communities. Whether these forums are helpful or harmful is open to debate.

Since Liu started the anti-mistress association in June, it has grown to about 3,000 regular participants and eight chat rooms based in provinces including Hunan in Central China and Fujian and Shandong in the East. The women tell their stories and seek advice. They chat online and sometimes arrange to meet.

"To offer them more professional assistance," Liu said, "we've got volunteers (as mentors), psychologists and lawyers to give advice from time to time, then help them eventually walk out of the darkness."

Key goals for Liu and her team are to help women save their families, if their husbands also want to keep them together, or help women regain their confidence by giving up on the marriage and living for themselves.

"We don't insist on encouraging all the wives to save their marriages, but to make wise decisions for their own sakes and for other members of the families," said a volunteer who would give only her surname, Su. "Sometimes, to give up and move on is the best way out for them."

The avid response to her association taught Liu that it isn't easy to help so many people straightaway, she said. "I will try to help those people I can manage instead of expanding the scale of the group, so I can guarantee I will be available for all my members anytime if they need me to be the listener."

Liu has two children but is not employed.

The other woman

Not that the wives care, but life isn't always good for the mistresses, either.

Yang Li said she and her lover had been together for two years when he told her he was married and a father. "I insisted on breaking up with him," she said, "but he begged and promised me that he would marry me when I am 30."

That was eight years ago.

She turned 30 this year, and there's no marriage in her future. She moves through her days like a zombie, she said, and she feels well used.

But she maintains a tiny hope that her lover will come through for her (and, so, would not allow her real name to be printed).

"My life has been ruined by my boyfriend," said Yang, who is from Jiaxing, in East China's Zhejiang province. "I am not protected by the (marriage) law for being a mistress for so many years, while he's still enjoying his family life with his wife and son."

She has cut herself in frustration a few times, she said, and writes articles on her personal blog to describe her ambivalence toward her lover.

She signs her posts with a string of names that translate to: the person who derailed, the wrecker, the principal culprit, the initiator of evil, the arch-criminal. Those are her terms for men - one in particular - and she means them as a warning to other women.

"I regret that I trusted him through years and I hate him as the principal culprit for cheating me and his wife, then making me be the person who's been spurned as the panderer," Yang told China Daily.

Believe, wait

Thousands of other mistresses - also called family interveners in China - have posted their stories, their feelings and even their experiences dealing with the wives on online forums collectively called "the mistress association". Like the wives, they ask for advice, although their questions involve how to deal with the men and their wives, even how to keep their lovers away from their legal families.

Mostly, they use pseudonyms online, and those interviewed for this report insisted on made-up names.

"I don't post blogs or ask for help frequently but I wanted to know how the mistresses like me are living, whether it is as hard as what I'm going through now," Xiao Ye said.

She is 28 and the mistress of a successful, 36-year-old businessman from Nanjing, Jiangsu province. She said she is the woman the businessman truly loves, but he didn't meet her before he married.

"Both of us believe that we were born to be together, but he met me at the wrong time, so I'm awaiting the day that he ends things with his wife and marries me," Xiao said in a recent blog post.

"Believe" and "wait" are common words on the mistresses' online forum because most of the women still hope to have a family with their lovers. After all, affairs do lead to divorce - about half of them last year, according to data from the Ministry of Civil Affairs.

"I know that it's immoral to intervene in a family as the third person," Xiao said, "but if we're truly in love with each other, why can't I follow my heart to love someone and get married?"

Previous Page 1 2 Next Page

Highlights
Hot Topics
...
主站蜘蛛池模板: 久操久操久操 | 一级高清视频www | 精品国产一区二区三区久久影院 | 精品视频一区二区三区在线播放 | 午夜成人在线视频 | 色黄视频在线观看 | 污污的网站免费在线观看 | 欧美阿v天堂视频在99线 | 国产精品国产三级国产aⅴ无密码 | 99国产精品视频免费观看 | 91精品久久久久久久久久小网站 | 亚洲第一视频 | 国产97人妻人人做人碰人人爽 | 91观看| 日韩欧美一区二区在线观看 | 久久夜色精品国产亚洲 | 国产噜噜在线视频观看 | 色搞搞 | 精品一本久久中文字幕 | 亚洲精品乱码 | 日韩在线你懂的 | 白颖宇 | 久草青青在线视频 | 亚洲国产精品无码观看久久 | 欧美精品网站 | 欧美一进一出 | 99久久免费国产精品 | 亚洲免费一区二区 | 日本超碰 | concern超碰在线 | 91婷婷射 | 国产精品成人va在线观看入口 | 麻豆网站在线 | 91欧美精品激情在线观看 | 久久草在线视频 | 一级鲁丝片 | 国产大片91精品免费看3 | av一区二区三区在线观看 | 99re视频| 91玖玖| 天堂资源地址在线 |