Dating in the fast lane

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People from different countries and regions participate in one-on-one conversations at a Fishbowl event. [Photos provided to China Daily]
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"I did not tell them there would be another Polish (person) at the event, and when they finally met, they felt so happy and surprised," she says.
For the event in December, three of the 10 females were from the Chinese mainland, two from Taiwan, two from the US, two from the United Kingdom and one from Russia.
"Except for one man who is already 50, the participants this time are between 25 and 35, so that they have more common interests and topics," she says.
Zdzarska says the Chinese speed-dating culture has been changing over the years, and the participants are becoming younger.
"Two years ago, the Chinese women who participated in Fishbowl Events were normally in their early 30s and were really looking for a serious relationship. But I see nowadays more younger Chinese women, between 25 and 28, signing up for the events just to meet friends," she says.
Zhu Wenjing has worked as program manager at a multinational company in Beijing since September 2010. It was her first time to take part in speed-dating.
"Before I came to Beijing, I was abroad for many years, and I am used to the Western practice of making friends. Then I noticed the Fishbowl Events in Time Out Beijing magazine and decided to come," she says.
Zhu says she is not looking for a serious relationship, but for new friends from different backgrounds.
"But that does not mean I am not open to a relationship. Who knows whether I'm not going to meet the right one here," she says.
Zdzarska says apart from Chinese women, Chinese men are also becoming more enthusiastic about taking part in speed-dating events with foreign women.
"The Chinese men coming to the events are normally between the ages of 25 and 40, and most of them used to live abroad or are American-born Chinese. But still, there are also Chinese guys who have never been abroad and come here looking for a wife," Zdzarska says.
She says she sees an increase of courage and openness among Chinese men in recent years.
"Two to three years ago, most of my friends who have been involved in Sino-foreign relationships are Chinese women and foreign men. That was mainly because expatriates in China do not tend to stay in China long, and it is easier for women to move with their husbands than for men to move with their wives," she says.
But now, the situation is changing, and Chinese men now account for 40 percent of total registration at Fishbowl Events, Zdzarska says.
Different from some Chinese men's direct intention of looking for a wife through speed-dating events, foreign men, on the other hand, consider the event a way to broaden their circle of friends.
Nad Chishitie is a UK-native web designer in Beijing who has taken part in two Fishbowl speed-dating events.
"I have never done anything like this back in the UK, because people there think this would be very embarrassing. But now, I think it's a cool way to spend 150 yuan ($24, 18 euros), have a glass of wine and talk with 10 totally different females on a Sunday night," he says.
Chishitie says he did go on dates with women he met at his first speed-dating event, and he is still friends with them.
"I cannot think of a reason why I don't come here for a third or fourth time," he says.
Zdzarska hands out cards for participants to rate their mini-dates: "Let's date", "Coffee first then date", "Stay friends" and "Not a match". Within a few days, she sends e-mails letting the attendees know whether they have matches. If so, e-mail addresses are exchanged and it's up to the participants to pursue a relationship.
Zdzarska says in five years, she hasn't received a single wedding invitation from her clients.
"Maybe they got married in other countries, or maybe they just did not invite me. I do hope I can attend a wedding of my speed-dating participants," she says.
The next event won't take place until February because of the Chinese New Year. For more information, visit fishbowlevents.com.
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