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Lose the lying face
Ray McFarlandchinadaily.com.cn Updated: 2005-12-09 08:25
The concept of keeping and not losing one's face (reputation and so on)
prevails throughout the world. However, for cultural reasons (such as the legacy
of group-orientated societies) it is extremely strong -- in fact, too strong --
in most of Asia including China. While the desire to keep one's face is
honorable and even virtuous, when overemphasized to the point of lying,
showboating, and provoking, it is both self-defeating and destructive.
First and foremost, saving face often entails lying. This includes the
seemingly harmless white lies. Whether such lying is understandable or not, it
is still dishonest, immoral, and as such should be shunned as much as possible.
While I grant that in China, people may often lie to save both their face and
the face of the person being lied to, many others frequently lie just to save
their own butts, with a devil-may-care attitude to the other person. This can be
something as simple as lying about an incident at work in a way that protects
your own skin, but tars and feather the other person. There is nothing
face-saving about such an action and is akin to a starving person practicing
cannibalism for survival. Personally, I would whether die of starvation a.k.a.
lose my job than "eat" another person.
If you think about it, lying to maintain so-called face is impractical. Most
people, including Chinese, equate an honest person with having true face. This
makes sense. No one likes being lied to. Do you? It is both insulting and
disrespectful, and usually causes more problems than benefits.
You know, if every time people lied, their noses grew like a fibbing
Pinocchio, they would quickly see how meaningless and cumbersome lying for face
is.
A good example of the futility of lying to maintain one's face involves the
recent water contamination in Northeast China, in which various environmental
and oil administrative initially lied to the public about the severity of the
accident. In being caught with their paws in the fishing bowl, the
administration and officials brought upon themselves the very thing they dreaded
most: a loss of face.
Even lying to protect the face of another party may backfire or in the very
least prove meaningless. I am not sure about the situation now, but in the past,
some Chinese businesspeople had a knack for not wanting the other side to lose
face during negotiations. However, this seemingly admirable trait often led to
misunderstandings, a loss of time and money, and general headaches. Even good
intentions, when spiced with deceit, can go awry.
Lying for the sake of your face also can be just plain dangerous for other
people. During the 2003 SARS epidemic, the health minister wasn't forthcoming
about the situation. This only worsened the situation, putting more lives and
livelihoods at risk. Fortunately the Central Government administrations
ultimately gave the minister the boot, which marked the beginning of China's
victory over SARS.
Aside from the lying aspect, many times the question of face is more
imaginary than real. The clamoring of one's face can be the product of an
inflated sense of self. Case in point: If you are arguing with another person,
onlookers are not thinking, "This person has face and that person doesn't."
Instead, chances are they are wondering why the two of you are yapping like
Donald Duck.
In addition, "keeping" your face at all costs is not very harmonious. You may
do something rash, which in turn may provoke the other person to retaliate.
For example, suppose the said person you are arguing with decides to walk
away in a bid to end the spat. The worse thing for you to do at this time would
be to yell at the person as he or she leaves, showboating or showing off to the
crowd of onlookers. Otherwise the person might angrily turn back around for
further confrontation, which could very well end in police intervention, or
worse yet, a very face-losing black eye or busted lip on your part.
In conclusion I want to say that while I have focused on China (due to
presently living in the country), what I have mentioned can apply to most of
Asia as well. While some face is definitely needed, extreme face -- with its
lying, showboating, and provoking -- has no place in an increasingly global and
multi-polar world, but rather should be relegated to the fate of the dodo
(bird): extinction.
Write to Raymond McFarland at: [email protected]
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