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英國(guó)母親比拼育兒經(jīng)驗(yàn)壓力大
How 90 percent of mothers judge other parents on how they raise their children

[ 2011-08-15 08:47]     字號(hào) [] [] []  
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英國(guó)母親比拼育兒經(jīng)驗(yàn)壓力大

Judgement day: A poll of 26,000 US mothers found that parents will compete on everything from breastfeeding to child discipline.

Every mother has her own opinion on how to best raise a child. But according to a new survey, 90 percent of women with children admit to casting judgment if they don't agree with a fellow parent's methods.

The poll of 26,000 mothers by TODAY Moms/Parenting.com found that they will compete on everything from breastfeeding to discipline.

Mothers who didn't try to breastfeed their babies, for example, will be considered badly by one in five other parents, while those who nurse a child for 'too long', will be judged badly by 43 percent of their peers.

Sixty-six percent of respondents said they would judge another parent harshly if their child was badly behaved, and 32 percent if a mother let her kids watch too much television.

Diet was another key issue for parents - 37 percent said they would judge mothers of an overweight child or those who allowed their children to eat junk food.

Many women who participated in the survey admitted suffering from an inferiority complex when surrounded by other mothers - and guilty for judging fellow parents themselves.

Lacey Davis, a mother in West Virginia, admitted on the Today.com website: 'When I go to other moms' homes I do the quick once-over and pick apart things... Dishes in sink, floors not swept, no sweeper lines in carpet.

'I HATE this about myself because I know if I am doing it, then so is everyone else that comes to MY house!'

And Lawna Hurl, a mother-of-two from Alberta, Canada, says the reason she returned to work was because the pressure of competition among fellow parents was too intense.

She admitted: 'I didn’t like being around other moms because I often felt inferior. It saddens me that among moms there is so much judgment – no matter what you do it seems someone is judging.'

Author and parenting expert Wendy Mogel explained that the judgemental habit is a means mothers use to feel better about themselves.

She told the site: 'Mothers are judging themselves and judging others to make themselves feel a little better. We’re all trying to look good, and we want our kids to look good and impress others.'

(Read by Renee Haines. Renee Haines is a journalist at the China Daily Website.)

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(Agencies)

每個(gè)媽媽都有一本她自己的育兒經(jīng)。但一項(xiàng)新研究發(fā)現(xiàn),90%的媽媽承認(rèn),如果不同意其他孩子父母的育兒方式,她們會(huì)提出批評(píng)。

由今日媽媽育兒網(wǎng)發(fā)起的這一調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn),媽媽們會(huì)從母乳喂養(yǎng)到管教子女各個(gè)方面進(jìn)行較量。該調(diào)查涵蓋了2.6萬(wàn)位母親。

在五分之一的媽媽們眼中,不愿用母乳喂養(yǎng)寶寶的媽媽不是好媽媽?zhuān)切┠溉槲桂B(yǎng)期太長(zhǎng)的媽媽也會(huì)被43%的媽媽認(rèn)為不稱(chēng)職。

66%的被調(diào)查者說(shuō),如果孩子不乖,她們會(huì)嚴(yán)厲批評(píng)那個(gè)孩子的母親。32%的人說(shuō)如果媽媽讓她的孩子看太多電視,她們也會(huì)指責(zé)那個(gè)媽媽。

對(duì)媽媽們來(lái)說(shuō),孩子的飲食也是一個(gè)關(guān)鍵問(wèn)題。37%的媽媽說(shuō),如果一個(gè)孩子太胖,或是一個(gè)媽媽允許孩子吃垃圾食品,她們會(huì)指責(zé)那個(gè)媽媽。

很多參加這次調(diào)查的女性都承認(rèn)當(dāng)被其他媽媽圍繞的時(shí)候,都有自卑心理,而她們自己也喜歡批評(píng)其他媽媽?zhuān)榇烁械絻?nèi)疚。

萊西?戴維斯是來(lái)自西弗吉尼亞州的一位母親,她在“今日”網(wǎng)站上坦言說(shuō):“我一進(jìn)到別的媽媽的家里,我就迅速掃視一圈,然后就開(kāi)始指摘起來(lái)……水槽里的碟子沒(méi)洗,地板沒(méi)掃,地毯沒(méi)用清掃器清潔過(guò)。”

“我討厭自己這么做,因?yàn)槲抑溃绻疫@么做,別人到我家的時(shí)候也會(huì)對(duì)我說(shuō)三道四!”

來(lái)自加拿大阿爾伯塔省的勞娜?赫爾是兩個(gè)孩子的母親。她說(shuō)她重返職場(chǎng)的原因是同輩母親間的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)壓力太大了。

她承認(rèn)說(shuō):“我不喜歡和別的媽媽們待在一起,因?yàn)槲医?jīng)常覺(jué)得自卑。當(dāng)媽的湊到一塊兒就老愛(ài)評(píng)判來(lái)評(píng)判去,真讓我傷心。不管你做什么,好像總有人品頭論足。”

作家兼育兒專(zhuān)家溫迪?孟格爾解釋說(shuō),這種愛(ài)評(píng)判的習(xí)慣是媽媽們保持良好自我感覺(jué)的手段。

她告訴網(wǎng)站說(shuō):“媽媽們通過(guò)自我評(píng)判和評(píng)判她人來(lái)讓自己感覺(jué)好些。我們都想讓自己看上去很好,我們也想讓我們的孩子看上去很好,給他人留下好印象。”

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Vocabulary:

inferiority complex: 自卑感

once-over: 粗略的查看

 
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