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True foundation of longevity is courage to evolve together

By Zou Shuo | China Daily | Updated: 2025-03-17 07:48
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Wang Zichuan, 24, works for a State-owned company in Hebei province.

My perspective on marriage is rooted in mutual respect, emotional connection, and pragmatic adaptability. For me, a lifelong partnership transcends material benchmarks.

While societal norms often equate homeownership with marital stability, I believe flexibility matters more. My partner Xuanxuan and I agree that renting temporarily accommodates career mobility without compromising our sense of "home" — what truly builds security isn't walls but shared commitment. We'll purchase property eventually, yet refuse to let this goal overshadow our present happiness.

Meanwhile, my parents will buy an apartment for us as my family's financial status is better than hers. My parents have also agreed to give her parents 188,000 yuan ($26,000), a lucky number, as a bride price, which her parents will pass on to her as "insurance money".

However, I reject transactional mindsets. Three aspects hold greater weight for me: emotional alignment, compatible lifestyles, and congruent values.

Whether Xuanxuan chooses to work or pursue personal interests, matters less than her genuine investment in our shared future. Traditional gender roles hold no sway — I'll gladly shoulder more household responsibilities, not as a gender duty, but as an equal partnership. Her worth isn't measured by a paycheck or chores completed, but by the sincerity she brings to our union.

Regarding marriage customs, I view dowries and bride prices symbolically, rather than transactionally. These should represent familial blessings, not archaic ownership notions. What truly empowers a marriage isn't monetary exchange, but the assurance that both families support our autonomy as a new family unit. My parents prioritize character over social status, trusting my judgment in choosing a life partner — an attitude I hope Xuanxuan's family shares.

Social pressures around "marriageable age" particularly concern me. While acknowledging Xuanxuan's desire for early stability, I resist the toxic narrative that men must achieve career success before marrying.

Our partnership is a collaborative journey, not a prize for individual accomplishments. Financial adequacy matters, but sufficiency differs from excess — what I earn now sustains our shared life and occasional adventures, which suffices as we grow together.

Crucially, I view marriage as deliberate permanence. The modern divorce epidemic stems partly from entering unions with exit strategies. We approach commitment like our philosophy on arguments — not keeping score of who's right, but solving problems collectively.

Just like I would not easily break up with her when we are in a relationship, I would not think about divorcing her at all, which brings no positive outcomes.

Emotional interdependence coexists with personal independence: we maintain separate social circles and individual identities while nurturing shared dreams. This balance of closeness and autonomy, I believe, fortifies relationships against stagnation.

Moreover, our marriage blueprint rejects rigid templates. It's built daily through choices — choosing understanding over pride, patience over haste, and faith in each other over societal noise. The foundation isn't a house deed or bank balance, but the courage to evolve together while honoring individual growth.

Wang Zichuan was talking to Zou Shuo.

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