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Is breaking up so hard to do?
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Despite the laments of pining pop stars and poets, U.S. researchers now think breaking up may not be so hard to do.
"We underestimate our ability to survive heartbreak," said Eli Finkel, an assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern University, whose study appears online in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Finkel and colleague Paul Eastwick studied young lovers -- especially those who profess ardent affection -- to see if their predictions of devastation matched their actual angst when that love was lost.
"On average, people overestimate how distressed they will be following a breakup," Finkel said in a telephone interview.
The nine-month study involved college students who had been dating at least two months who filled out questionnaires every two weeks. They gathered data from 26 people -- 10 women and 16 men -- who broke up with their partners during the first six months of the study.
The participants' forecasts of distress two weeks before the breakup were compared to their actual experience as recorded over four different periods of time.
Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said.
"At the end of the day it, it is just less bad than you thought."
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(AP) |
盡管流行歌手和詩(shī)人總把失戀說(shuō)的很痛苦，但近日，美國(guó)研究人員稱(chēng)，分手可能沒(méi)那么難。
西北大學(xué)的心理學(xué)副教授埃里?芬克爾說(shuō)：“我們低估了自己承受失戀痛苦的能力。”該研究結(jié)果在《實(shí)驗(yàn)社會(huì)心理學(xué)期刊》的網(wǎng)站上公布。
芬克爾與同事鮑爾?伊斯特威克對(duì)年輕情侶，尤其是那些自稱(chēng)愛(ài)得很深的情侶進(jìn)行了調(diào)查，以確定他們對(duì)失戀后痛苦程度的預(yù)測(cè)與實(shí)際情況是否相符。
芬克爾在接受一個(gè)電話采訪時(shí)說(shuō)：“平均來(lái)看，人們高估了自己失戀后的痛苦。”
該項(xiàng)研究歷時(shí)九個(gè)月，調(diào)查對(duì)象是談戀愛(ài)至少有兩個(gè)月的大學(xué)生，他們每?jī)芍芴顚?xiě)一次調(diào)查問(wèn)卷。研究人員收集了26個(gè)調(diào)查對(duì)象的資料——10名女性、16名男性，他們都在調(diào)查期間的頭六個(gè)月內(nèi)就與戀人分手了。
研究人員將調(diào)查對(duì)象在分手前兩周對(duì)痛苦程度的預(yù)測(cè)與他們分手后四個(gè)不同階段的實(shí)際情況進(jìn)行了對(duì)比。
不出意料，研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，愛(ài)得越深的人越難承受分手。
芬克爾說(shuō)：“愛(ài)得較深的人在分手后確實(shí)要更痛苦一些，但他們對(duì)自己痛苦的預(yù)期與實(shí)際情況相比，卻被大大高估了。”
“總之，分手沒(méi)你想象的那么痛苦。”
（英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津姍姍編輯）
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